Dr Fivemack, I presume

[fivemack]

This afternoon, at about 4pm, wearing reddish-purple robes trimmed with turquoise and a hood of the same material, I had my name announced by Professor Buttery, Dean of the Faculty of Science; walked, in front of an audience (nay, a Congregation) of perhaps two thousand, across a stage tiered three-deep with gowned academics; gave a shallow bow to Professor Fujia Yang (Chancellor), because I didn't think I could quite pull off a deep theatrical one; and received a bit of paper certifying me as a Doctor of Philosophy. My parents were very proud.

This concludes my twenty-year stint in full-time education.