Hitting things with an axe and then setting fire to them

[fivemack]

I have an adequate pick-axe; I believe some people enjoy hitting things with an axe.

When I moved into this house, the garden contained three large and awkwardly-placed tree stumps. I have removed rather less than one tree-stump a year, and there is now one left. I have dug a medium-sized hole around it and got to the point where it is necessary to beat upon its many roots repeatedly with sharpened iron, but have failed for eight weeks to proceed beyond this point.

Would anyone care to join me in my garden at 3pm on Saturday 20 February, to remove with pick and shovel as much of the tree-stump as can be removed before the light fails, and then move to my living room to sit in front of the hot fire on which the previous tree-stump will be burned? Bring own mattock if you have one. Tea and biscuits will be provided while the axes are in use, liquor and pistachios afterwards. Axe-based parts of event will be cancelled in case of heavy rain.

(Please RSVP so that I know exactly how many axe-wielding maniacs to anticipate)

Comments

[seawasp]

Have you considered using either explosives or just LOTS of fire to solve the problem? Explosives solve MANY problems!

[fivemack.livejournal.com]

The tree stump is within two feet of my neighbour's property line, which is delineated by an attractive but surely flammable wooden fence. I fear this is a situation in which energetic means of solving one problem would create several more.

[seawasp]

Is this neighbor one with whom you have good or bad relations? If the latter, you just need MORE explosives to solve the remaining problem!

[bugshaw.livejournal.com]

Darn, I'm being Proper Cultural at the theatre that afternoon, otherwise I'd be overjoyed to come and wreak destruction with large tools :-(

[del-c.livejournal.com]

They always said if you invite people from The Internet round to your house, you don't know if you're inviting axe-wielding maniacs. This way, you know!

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

Didn't that happen in Shane? :)

(Thank you, but unfortunately, I'm busy sat.)

[cartesiandaemon.livejournal.com]

:)

[pavanne.livejournal.com]

Best invitation ever, alas I shall be in Versailles.

[scat0324.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't plan on being able to burn a tree stump that's fairly recently been in the ground. Or am I misunderstanding the intention?

[fivemack.livejournal.com]

The stump that's for the fire this evening is the one Ian WINOLJ and I dug up last year, which has been drying gently in the outhouse for the last twelve months and ought by now to be dry.