Alliterative assertions of incompetence

On a local IRC channel, I pointed out 'I know less of iOS development than a camel does of canoeing'; I'd previously used 'than a walrus does of wind-surfing'.

Alliterative expressions of animal incompetence are clearly fun to produce:

rejs+fivemack	than a badger does of baseball (originally 'basketball' but I think the trochee sounds better)
mdw	than a hamster does of hang-gliding
rjk	than crocodiles do of cross-stitch
senji	than an egret does of epistemology

The important things are assonance and a strong mental image ...

Go ahead! The comments are open!